The toughest phase of my life

Life is unpredictable and full of shocking surprises. No one can predict what will happen in life. Nothing is finite in life. It is a bouquet having flowers of care, sadness, love, affection, struggle, pain and happiness. Each one of us has a different perception towards life. But the truth is that we want peace in our life.

My life taught me a lot. It gave me opportunities to understand the reason for my existence, to discover my ultimate goal, to smile in pain and realize my hidden potentials. There was a time when I became weak and lost all hopes. It was the time when my strength gave up and I felt helpless. It was the time when I thought that I had lost everything. It was the time when I lost my dream forever.

I lost my granny in 1999 due of Myocardial Infarction attack. She lost her life because of the negligence of the treating Cardiologist. The news of her death came to me as a shock. I was very close to my granny and loved her very much. Her death created a void in my life. The death of my granny hit me hard and I decided to pursue my career in medicine. This is how my dream was born.

Years later I got an opportunity to turn my dream into a beautiful reality. I went to the medical university and started my career in medicine. I didn’t realize that it would be difficult for me to deal with my bleeding disorder while pursuing my career. Somehow I ignored the existence of my bleeding disorder and went ahead to live my dream. The testing time came when I had to live in the university hostel, manage my bleeds on my own, and deal with my other medical conditions without anyone’s help. At the same time I felt homesick. It was the first time I remained away from my home for such a long time. I missed my mamma and my home very much.

I had no friend and I was all alone. I remember being in my room and treating my bleeds on my own. I made sure that no one comes to know about my bleeding disorder. During my Physiology and Anatomy practical classes I was always extra cautious. I used to make sure not to get a cut or prick during dissections.

One day our professor asked the class to prick our finger because we were supposed to perform a practical on blood cells. I tried my best to escape from pricking my finger. But when my laboratory partner didn’t agree I went to my professor and told her about my bleeding disorder. She allowed me not to prick my finger and take blood sample from some other student so that I could perform my practical. Not all the professors were compassionate beings.

Moreover, hostel life was really challenging. Ragging was an important element of every hostel fresher. It was my first day of menses and one of the seniors came to rag me. She asked me to stand in a particular posture for about an hour and I could not deny her order. It was frustrating and I felt extremely alone. I tried my best to adjust well in the hostel and manage my bleeds effectively and other medical conditions on my own. Ultimately I gave up. I took the decision of returning back home from the medical university. I never thought that I would be the one who would end the biggest dream of my life. It was really painful for me. I won’t forget my days of struggle. When I look back my eyes get tears. I try not to regret but to accept the reality.